I woke up slowly, confused. Falling face first is never graceful.
* * * * *
I recently realized that I am in the middle of real life. I have not awakened to a dream, but reality. This is the world where I must put one foot in front of another.
* * * * *
The black had been peaceful, but I had come to consciousness in a nightmare. No, it was reality. I spit the blood out of my mouth and dialed the phone. It rang. No answer.
* * * * *
The real world is all at once rigid with responsibility and loose without the safety-net structure of childhood, adolescence and college. No wonder people go to grad school, become workaholics, create all kinds of inane habits. The shock sends us in search of our security blankets.
* * * * *
I called back, shaking. "Hello. I think I passed out." Help was coming.
* * * * *
The saddest way to come to reality is alone. It is no reality at all. When the so-long-given structure is stripped back, the network that holds is that of relationships. Sometimes it takes a harder fall than others to wake up to that reality.
