Keanu Reeves is the bane of my existence. Which of course makes it difficult when I find myself identifying with one of the endlessly repeated, poorly performed statements of his character Neo in The Matrix. He is forever saying, "I don't believe it." About everything.I am like that - or one of those annoying characters who - as the conflict of the movie comes - says "I can't believe this is happening to me." To which I feel like saying, "Well, it's why the rest of us are here watching, so get over it." Yes. I am sad to say that I often find myself surprised that bad things really do happen.
My life has been more often than not, cushy. Easy. A walk in the park. A piece of cake. Pick your cliche. I have largely lacked in conflict, difficulty and pain. So, imagine my surprise when as of late some hard situations have arisen! I actually have to make big decisions without knowing all the outcomes. I am actually having things occur that are outside of my control.
And I'm not Neo. I can't just imagine myself weightless, or with lots of guns and somehow conquer the day. No. I have to learn how to live in difficulty. To be myself, alive, real and yes - sometimes struggling. I am not entitled to pain free. None of us are. In fact life guarantees some degree of hurt, disappointment, etc. And it is not mine to control. Instead, I'm learning (and fighting with at the same time) I have to hand it to God and ask him to teach me in it. He's leading. I'm walking. We are sojourning together in his Way, his Truth, his Life.
