I SPEND ALL MY ENERGY LIVING. Such has been the case of late. I have been juggling a dozen competing priorities most of the last month or two, feeling equally behind in all of them. It has been a learning time, one that I am walking out of (slowly yet still) alive and hopefully wiser.
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There have been a few very clear lessons.
You cannot stop. No matter how tired you are, the world continues to go on, and God's work moves as well. The choice is a matter of how aware and engaged you choose to be. I have had both good and bad days in this regard, but I have been blessed to be conscious that the decision is in front of me every day.
You cannont do it alone. Life is simply not life in a vacuum. I have come to be incredibly blessed by God-centered community - sharing deep times both between God and myself and myself and others. I have come to understand more profoundly my love of friendship, replete with challenges, hurt, loss, joy, triumph and love.
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I simply don't know what is going on most of the time. I am not in control. As much as I don't particularly like that, that is the reality, and it is a reality that places me in a position of openness. I feel like I am now taking a few cautious steps after a series of headlong dives. Living, in some ways, means learning to walk again.
